Stop Needing and you wont be found Wanting!
Recentley whilst reading 'The Secrets of a Passionate Marriage' by David Schnarch P.H.D, i came across a secret that hit me as so True, that i just had to share it with you!
In all Relationships in our Life we have one desire that permeates , we want to be wanted! Or to put it another way, that any one that is with us ,is there because they want to be , they choose freely & Honestly to connect with us on whatever level purely for the joy of being in our company!
However there is a hitch , and quite a big one ! ... hidden in our Ego is a stronger yearning that has hijacked this emotion and coerced it for its own deeper plan! Being wanted is not enough because we fear the uncertainity of it , it has no security , and more importantly no CONTROL! So the creation we all manifest in many wonderous and insiduous ways is the NEED to be NEEDED!
It is in this twisted way that the ego controls the game and throws out hooks into those around us , all be it often subconsciously, to manipulate there psuedo loyalty and thus avoid the risk of losing them by unexpectedly!
Now the point is this , if someone needs you they are unable to want you. Wanting implies a choice with both yes and no as options, yet if another is in need of you they have lost the ability to choose and in that loss of freedom your own inner recognition goes unwitnessed. You are now controlling their options and the prize of their presence is hollow and false, leaving you confused and lost.
Now the good news is that once you see this playing out you can change it !
Stop looking to be Needed and you will find you are Wanted!
